Faith & Marriage: The Heart Posture That Actually Saves Relationships

Many Christian couples love God deeply yet still feel disconnected, overwhelmed, or unsure how to fix the tension. This post shows why faith isn’t about pretending everything is fine

Christopher Lunn

12/8/20252 min read

💬 Faith & Marriage: The Heart Posture That Saves Relationships

As believers, we’re taught to trust God and build our marriage on a strong spiritual foundation.
But there’s something most couples are never taught:

Faith isn’t just belief — it’s a heart posture that says, “We’re willing to seek help.”

Because God doesn’t ask us to pretend everything is fine.
He asks us to be humble enough to seek wisdom and pray.

And that growth sometimes comes through Him…
sometimes through wise counsel…
and sometimes through finding new tools that strengthen the marriage He gave you.

❤️ Faith Alone Doesn’t Remove Struggle — It Invites Help Into It

You can love God deeply and still feel:

  • disconnected

  • misunderstood

  • exhausted

  • overwhelmed

  • unsure how to fix the tension

These feelings don’t mean you lack faith.
They mean you’re human.

🛑 The Trap Many Christian Couples Fall Into

Somewhere along the way, we started believing:

  • “If our faith was strong, we wouldn’t struggle this much.”

  • “Christian couples shouldn’t need counseling.”

  • “We should be able to fix this ourselves.”

    What God really calls us to

  • Seek wisdom

  • Lean on community

  • Ask for help

  • Carry each other’s burdens

  • Build each other up

Faith was never meant to be “you two vs the world.”
It was always designed to be
God + people + wisdom + support.

🙏 Help Comes in Three Forms — And All of Them Are God’s Provision

1️⃣ Help From God

Prayer softens hearts.
Scripture gives clarity.
God gives strength, conviction, and direction —
but He rarely sends lightning bolts to magically fix communication problems.

He invites you to participate in the healing.

2️⃣ Help From Counseling

Some wounds need a translator.
Some cycles need an outside voice to make things clear.

Counseling isn’t a lack of faith.
Counseling is a great resource for your marriage.

It’s saying:
“We value what God gave us enough to fight for it the right way.”

3️⃣ Help From Tools

Even strong, faith-filled couples need practical skills to live out what they believe.

Real tools like:

🔹 The 24-Hour Rule

Address problems while they’re small — not weeks later.

🔹 The 5-Second Pause

A brief pause that lets the heat settle before another word is said.

🔹 The “What I Heard You Say Was…” Clarifier

Most fights start with misunderstandings - not bad intentions.

🔹 The 10-Minute Connection Check

A daily intention to ask, “How’s your heart today?”
It sounds simple, but that simple intention will open the doors to great communication.

🔹 Fight-Fair Agreements

No low blows. No yelling over each other.
Protect the relationship while dealing with the issue.

Faith gives you the motivation.
Tools give you the method.

You wouldn’t build a house without tools.
You shouldn’t try to build (or rebuild) your marriage without them either.

🔥 The Heart Posture That Saves Marriages

It’s not perfection.
It’s not pretending.
It’s not surviving.

It’s the willingness to say:
“We need help… and that doesn’t make us weak. It makes us wise.”

When both spouses adopt that posture, everything changes.
Communication softens.
Walls come down.
Connection returns.
Healing begins.

Because God can work with humble hearts —
and counselors can work with willing ones.

💡 If Your Faith Is Strong but Your Marriage Feels Stuck… You’re Not Alone

You don’t have to choose between faith and counseling.
You don’t have to choose between prayer and practical help.
You don’t have to pretend everything is okay.

You just need a heart willing to receive support —
from God, from guidance, and from tools that actually work.

If you’re ready to lean into that kind of help:

👉 https://fanintoflames.online/counseling

This isn’t a sign of weakness.
It’s a sign that your marriage matters to you —
and that you’re willing to fight for it
- the right way.